Drunken Banana Pudding

Ingredients

• ***For the filling:***
• 2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened, divided
• 2 (14-ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk, divided
• 1 1/2 cups coffee liqueur, chilled
• 2 1/2 cups 2% milk, cold, divided
• 2 (3.9-ounce) packages instant chocolate pudding mix
• 3 (8-ounce) cartons frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided
• 9 whole chocolate graham crackers, coarsely crushed
• 2 (3.4-ounce) packages instant banana cream pudding mix
• 1 1/2 cups vanilla wafers, coarsely crushed
• 5 medium bananas, sliced
• ***Optional toppings:***
• chocolate graham crackers, to taste, coarsely crushed
• vanilla wafers, to taste
• bananas, to taste, sliced